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Who's Got The Crack?
koleisfail
I remember when I used to post on this journal nearly every day, or at least once a week, now it's as if either I don't feel like I have the time or that my life isn't interesting enough to write about. Maybe a combination of the two with some other random hinderances thrown in.
I live in an apartment now off the cheap end of Main Street with Victor, who works at Target with me. I thought moving out would be some big thing, but it's exactly the same as when I lived in an apartment while I was in college, the only difference is I go to work instead of going to classes. Perhaps college was a waste of time since it doesn't look as if I'll end up using that accounting degree after all. I sometimes think if I could go back and do it over, would I have even gone to college or just started out as the working man that I am? I would have gone, just for those two trips over to Germany for my German minor of study. Traveling overseas and backpacking around helped stir up the restlessness that is my life and though annoying at times, I couldn't think of another way to be. We've nearly made it through five months of the year for 2015,and I haven't even left South Carolina. All of my camping trips have been confined to state parks, though that isn't necessarily a bad thing, unless you count that night around the camp fire in March when I drank nearly an entire bottle of gin and ended up lost in the woods for half an hour trying to make myself throw-up. All in all, that night was a pretty good camping night.
Let's talk about relationships or as typically is the case, my lack thereof. I'm sure if I tried I could be in one, but fuck it, if something's meant to work out it will, I'm not going to be with someone just to not be alone. Me and Bekka made a pact that overrides my marriage pact with Tiffany. Apparently I am getting married on June 10th, 2017 to Bekka of all people, that's our pact. I mean mentally, emotionally, etc she actually does "get me", we've both changed a lot over the past two years and would work on that basis. The physicality would be the bitch of a thing since I want to be with a man. We made an agreement that if we did cash in on the marriage pact that we could both go off and sleep with other men, so long as we didn't bring any STDs to the table. It's not about what you do during the day anyway, it's about who you come home to and lie next to at night. Vee said this whole agreement/pact thing sounds like a beginner's guide to polyamory.
Vee's garage has become more a place to just relax, drink, jam and whatever the fuck we feel like on whatever evenings/nights our work schedules agree. We record beautiful music on my cassette tape recorder that we listen to later, sober and say "I don't remember recording that, but I like it." We've been covering Moldy Peaches/Kimya Dawson songs along with anything from My Chemical Romance's "Black Parade" album. There've been 1am Taco Bell/ Mc Donald's runs and Jake running back into the garage as we realize "fuck we forgot to put the dog on a leash." Vee passed her state exams and works at a Great Clips now by the way. Oh and Brian is moving back to California, to Joshua Tree.  It's odd to think he once meant so much to me and now I really don't even care that he's leaving. Ever since that morning in bumfucknowhere Texas in that hotel room when we were
yelling at each other, mostly him calling me a Jew with money etc, I realized that if I didn't have money I was pretty much useless to him and that wasn't something I wanted anymore. He just needed a road trip buddy then and before, had I been broke, he'd have just found someone else. I do miss the man he used to be when he would say all that bullshit about being a for hire killer or some type of con man of the sort and we'd go around shooting guns in the woods and exploring abandoned buildings. Any hints of that man or what he could have been have been dissolved into the useless mush of a spoiled trust fund hipster douche he is.
I'm going to try to post on here at least weekly, so rather than reflective summaries I can throw in some actual day to day excitements of my life as a half drunken, bachelor, working man.

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