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The entire downstairs of the house was empty, aside from a few things I had placed in the kitchen cabinets. The only sign of someone living there was all my things in the room above the garage. The emptiness was comforting and even my own thoughts didn't feel crowded, well except for all the nights I'd lie on my floor mattress wishing someday I'd have the courage to load up a backpack and never look back. But the tree we'd used to hug in the front yard has long since been cut down, it had been dying from a fungus or something of the sort. And the time came to empty the house, neatly packed away in a storage unit down the road as I stood in the kitchen that night staring into nothing, pushing myself to set foot out the door one last time.
Beforehand I'd found myself back in Oklahoma for a week. Driving the rental car back from an evening in Tulsa at some 80's themed bar with arcade games wondering where the hell I went wrong. When did I work my way up the ladder into management, making more money than I'd hoped back when I'd gotten out of college? What happened to the Kole who had no worries and could couch surf as a broke person, sipping off a 40 to pass the time? Things were easier when I'd accepted the fact that people thought I'd be a failure, but stubborn me has to prove everyone wrong. I really need that road trip Irvin and I have talked about going on for the past year now.

And well, the tiny house thing is a bust. What's the point of having a house that you can't live in on your own land? I'm only to blame for this because I should've done more research before I bought the damn thing. A park model RV may look like a mobile home, but it is not, despite the fact that the lying fuckers you bought it from had it listed as a mobile home and even stated in the sales contract, but again I should really research these things beforehand. I'd be happy if I can get a third of what I paid for it back at this point. So then off I go to a mobile home dealer because a regular house would still obviously be too big. And well even if your credit score is really high, if you typically make big purchases in cash, like a car or land, then when you actually need a loan you're fucked because no one will give you one. So here I sit stuck at my mother's new house with her until I find some way around all this. On a happy note though at least I got to bring the cat with me which in the end is the most important thing.