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koleisfail
   The restlessness I've felt since I got back hasn't tampered itself a bit. Friday night after I got off of work the restlessness seemed unbearable, so I hit 26 and drove up to North Carolina just because I could. I got there around 1am, but it was good to be away. I had Saturday off so by Sunday I had to head back. As I was on 26 and started seeing signs for the approaching I-40 junction, all I could think of was how if I took that turn and kept on going, I could be all the way back on the other side of the country within a few days. I wish I could say that I had as much money as I did this time last year, so I could just fuck off and move wherever just to get away. That wouldn't be the case though, between pissing away $1,100 last December for my half of the school bus and road trips, I'm about $4,000 behind where I was this time last year. At least I haven't touched my saving account though, that's so I can buy a cheap shit house or trailer for when the time comes that I really just need bolt. Or maybe I'll find something that makes staying here seem like less of a holding pattern, I'm willing to keep my options open.

 Every Sunday night, I go over to Vee's house with my guitar, I play music, we sing and drink. She writes lists of songs for me to learn because she is my manager and helping me try and get my shit together. I still need to make music with Bekka though, get really shit faced one night and make music with meaning behind it. I can't remember the last time I actually wrote a song.

 I got a cat about two weeks ago, I wasn't planning on getting one, but it was free adoption weekend at a local shelter and there I found Jasper. He has the same tabby/white coloring as Kurt did, but with more white. He reminds me a lot of myself, he likes to look at himself in the mirror and is either lying down relaxing or running around as if he has more energy than he knows what to do with. He's a good cat though and for some reason he really likes to rub his head up against my face; I don't see why someone would have just moved out of an apartment and left him there.

 The other night at work, I just got this immediate feeling towards the latter half of my work shift, that my time there is up. I never let myself get sick of being places, I simply randomly get that feeling and then decide to leave. So it's time to look for a job with better pay and move on, all things must come to an end and it just feels like that part of my life is over. Time to go to the next place, it's like when I used to work at Kmart and walked into my manager's office before my shift started one day and told him that I hated working there, so I left right after telling him that and never went back.